What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I have the power to talk to aliens through using telepathy. Why do people think I'm crazy?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why do liberals think same-sex marriage is alright? The Bible makes it very clear that it's not alright to be gay, why can't liberals understand that?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Do you think Japan will have same-sex marriage by 2030?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What are some ways to improve speed in sprinting, running uphill, and long/middle distance running?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What is your best forbidden sex story that felt so right?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What is the Abu Shusha massacre in Palestine?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why do most atheists in debates with theists take Bible verses out of context much of the time? Are they lying maliciously or do they not understand theology enough to understand the meaning?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Why does Africa have all mineral resources but she is suffering economically?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

How do you recognize when your mental health might need attention?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Did you ever accidentally have sex with your brother/sister in India?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

TEXT:

Everyone says the pet population is out of control. Everyone says you MUST spay or neuter your pets. No one wants to talk about how its almost $1,000 to spay or neuter a pet. Why is it so expensive if its so necessary? Animal shelters do it for free.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.